GRATITUDE ATTITUDE

[7-minute read]

SOME SAY it is synonymous with thankfulness, some describe it a feeling you get when you have experienced kindness, some say it feels like the grace of unwarranted favour. Others say it brings joy and a feeling of being loved. Beyond feelings, some assert that it is an attitude that shows through actions and words.  

According to Dutch author, Fred De Witt Van Amburgh 1866-1944, gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves and spend without fear of bankruptcy. Amburgh was convinced that no one is more impoverished than one who had no gratitude.

Yes, we are talking about gratitude - often expressed as a cursory ‘thank you’ in a very transactional way. You get something from someone that you did not expect and a ‘thank you’ balances the score. From young, we were taught to mind our Ps and Qs, but as believers, our gratitude ought to go deeper into our schema or mental model for how we connect with God and people. Gratitude ought to be a consciousness that permeates every aspect of our lives.

It is not to say that we should be grateful that a pandemic destroyed millions of jobs and businesses, or that a change we hope for has not taken place for years but gratitude is that attitude in us that is disease-proof, disaster-proof and disappointment-proof.

We can talk about being grateful, read up online articles about the topic, save gratitude quotes as a wallpaper on our devices or even feel immensely appreciative of something, but we shortchange ourselves of its power when we do not go beyond paying lip service to cultivate acts of gratitude in our lives.

1 Thessalonian 5:16-18 is a worthwhile motto to live by each day: ‘Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.’ This is diametrically opposed to the idea of permitting ourselves to be joyful about something only when we see solid proof of its permanence or of the integrity of the person or persons involved.

Jesus taught a poignant lesson about gratitude in Luke 17:11-19. Ten men who had leprosy found Jesus passing by and called out in loud unison, ‘Jesus, Master, have pity on us!’ (v13). The Lord instructed all ten of them to show themselves to the priests and ‘as they went, they were cleansed’ (v14). Ironically, the first and only one who returned to thank Jesus for His healing was a Samaritan - an alien, an outsider of the faith, a foreigner – who noticed something different about the exposed parts of his skin and intuitively knew that he was healed of leprosy. Spontaneously, he turned back to thank Jesus.

The Lord’s response to all ten lepers demonstrated that whether they were Jews or Gentiles, all received the same healing without differentiation. This is grace. Yet, Jesus pointed out that it was the foreigner in the group of lepers who did something different when he realized that he was healed. Earlier, it was in one accord that a group of lepers cried out to Jesus for mercy and healing; after the miracle, it was a solo voice praising Him.

The other nine lepers likely felt grateful for their healing but responded by doing only what they were told to do and nothing more. One can argue that they showed greater loyalty to their group norms and paid less attention to their personal convictions. Many of us feel safe in groups, even when our group membership does not engender any positive personal change in us.

Jesus’ response to the Samaritan who returned to give thanks was this: “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.” Jesus recognized that it was not only a skin disease that needed to be healed, but in being healed, there was also a lifetime of debilitating habits that needed to change. When the Samaritan man saw signs of God’s miracle in his life, without any prompting, he turned back to praise Jesus. This was a new freedom – to come and go as a healed person. Previously as a leper and an outcast in society, he had little freedom to act spontaneously without overstepping boundaries. When healed, he wasted no time to step into his newfound freedom!

He showed us three life lessons on gratitude:

GRATITUDE RECOGNISES THE GRACE OF GOD

Grace is God’s goodness and favour poured into our lives through the power of His love for His children. We can only recognize God’s grace at work in our lives when we stop resorting to formulaic thinking that attributes success to people, process, performance or propitiousness (a stroke of luck!).

It is God’s grace when the road is long and uncertain but we find new strength to forge ahead each day.

It is God’s grace when we never run out of compassion even in a place devoid of human kindness.

It is God’s grace when the odds are stacked against us yet we succeed beyond all expectations.

In other words, we can’t say we are grateful and have nothing to show for. At the same time, true gratitude does not put on a false humility which dismisses the idea that God works through human effort but recognizes the unique ways that God works in us and the unique opportunities that He gives each of us. Gratitude is an attitude that says, See, if it can happen in my life, it can happen for you! It’s unreservedly edifying and seeks to improve the well-being of others.

 GRATITUDE RESPONDS TO LITTLE AND MUCH

 We do not describe gratitude in terms of size but sincerity, and sincere gratitude is not short-lived and fickle. Gratitude responds with much to little, and it outlasts the benefits received. It does not compete or compare. A student who is accepted into a vocational training institute can be as grateful as one who receives a Harvard scholarship. Gratitude acknowledges the connection with the giver, not the thing given. In addition, gratitude engenders a generosity that gives beyond what it gets.

William A. Ward incisively put it this way: “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” Clearly, the Samaritan leper who was healed threw off all self-consciousness and self-limiting mental scripts that he relied on before but no longer needed anymore. Immediately, there was a new spontaneity in his behaviour that sought a deeper personal connection with Jesus. 

GRATITUDE REALIZES PRIVILEGE NOT ENTITLEMENT

Gratitude receives benefits as a privilege and not a given. Even words of comfort from a familiar voice, an act of thoughtfulness from a familiar figure, or help from a familiar source. One can conclude that the leper who ‘threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked Him’ did so because he never felt that he deserved anything: as a leper, he was blackballed by society and as a Samaritan, he was a religious outcast. He instinctively saw Jesus as a godsend and received his healing as a privilege. Contrastingly, the other nine, who were likely Jews, acted like their healing was a God-given right as God’s chosen people and unwittingly dismissed the One who came to deliver the miracle. Jesus was visibly disappointed with their ungratefulness when He said, ‘Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?’ (v18)

Gratitude involves a conscious personal decision. The ten lepers responded differently to the same act of benevolence – whether as a privilege or as an entitlement. Those who possess gratitude are highly responsive to what they perceive as goodness coming from God and other people. Gratitude is a game-changer for our relationship with God and with people when we see the good that we experience as a privilege (a gift) and not as an entitlement (a given).

Ephesians 2:8-9 reminds us that it is only by the grace of God that we are saved, and it is not something we can take credit for – no matter how faultless we think we are. Importantly, our salvation is ‘a gift from God’, and not a reward for our good behaviour. While we cannot repay God for His goodness and mercy, we can pay it forward with whatever opportunities we have in our lives so that ‘God’s grace will reach more and more people’ (2 Corinthians 4:15).  

This is a summary and reflection based on a virtual BIR Session held on 19 March 2022.