HONOUR BEGETS HONOUR
(5-minute read)
Three biblical characters left us indelible stories about honour. First, there was Joseph. From palace to prison to public office, Joseph honoured all whom he served. When he could finally give his brothers what they deserved for putting him through decades of misery, he decided instead to honour them before Pharoah (Genesis 45:8-11, 16-18).
Then, there was Ruth who suddenly lost her husband and was left with the lifelong prospect of being a childless widow. Although she had the obvious choice to leave the elderly Naomi and rebuild her life with someone somewhere else, she chose to spend the rest of her life with her elderly mother-in-law who had also lost all the men in her life in a series of unfortunate events.
Lastly, there was David who repeatedly chose to do the hard thing of honouring a lunatic king with a deranged personality, and who once dispatched 3000 men to hunt him down (1 Samuel 24). To King Saul, it was a zero-sum game between them – one of them had to die.
They all followed a pattern of honour. Joseph acted with hospitality instead of hostility towards his family. Instead of pursuing a new life for herself, Ruth decided to stay put with Naomi so that she would not be left without honour. David held back the basic instinct to take matters into his own hands towards Saul. His humility led to a permanent de-escalation of hostility in their relationship.
We can see that honouring others keep our relationships from being transactional and self-servingly quid pro quo. Most of us have no problem honouring God who is perfect and loving. But it feels counter-intuitive to honour people in positions of authority and power who act hurtfully and dishonourably, or those who have the moral duty to do the right thing but do not, or leaders who perpetuate systemic injustices.
There are 3 things to know about biblical honour:
WHAT DOES HONOUR MEAN?
God Himself laid down the value of honour in the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20).
Honouring others does not involve blind obedience or putting people on a pedestal and treating them as though they are sacred and above reproach. David and Joseph were both clear about the people who threw them into adverse situations. Yet, they both chose to honour the questionable characters in their paths who were otherwise easy for them to despise and hate.
Honouring different people involve different actions in different situations. To Joseph, honour meant to be charitable towards his estranged family. To David, honour meant not to inflict a single cut on King Saul even though there were many who would be happy to ‘finish’ him off for him. To Ruth, it meant forsaking the chance to remarry and start afresh on her own terms.
Honour is such an important virtue that everyone is given the first set of people to honour – our parents. It is mentioned at least three times in the Bible, and it is a commandment that comes with a promise of long life and well-being (Exodus 20:12, Deuteronomy 5:16, Ephesians 6:2-3). People who have conflicted relationships with their parents will find it harder to honour their parents. God’s command does not over-glorify parents but simply tells us, “Honor your father and your mother” – without distinction between those who are loving, supportive, present and respectable and those who act in ways that make them unlovable.
Talk to someone trustworthy about your hurts, or get professional help but do not inflict any cuts on those God has called you to honour.
HONOUR REGARDLESS - WHO DO WE HONOUR
We are to honour everyone. We honour God when we honour people who are created in His image, including our parents. The Bible tells us, “Rich and poor have this in common: The Lord is the Maker of them all.” (Proverbs 22:2).
Arguably, biblical honour is like what German philosopher, Immanuel Kant, coined as a categorical imperative – a value we uphold no matter who is involved. When something is a categorical imperative, it is done as an end in itself and not a means to an end, and it is a principle we apply universally to all without exception. Sounds hard?
Let’s dispel what honour is not. To be sure, honour does not involve turning a blind eye to wickedness, ignoring hurts, or downplaying wrongdoings. At the same time, we are not encouraging bad behaviour when we honour those who behave badly. David was unpretentious about how dangerous and murderous King Saul was when he confronted him saying, “I have not wronged you, but you are hunting me down to take my life. May the Lord judge between you and me. And may the Lord avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but my hand will not touch you.” (1 Samuel 24:11-12). Yet, David resisted hurting Saul even when conventional wisdom made it appear right as a no-brainer.
Romans 12:9-10 tells us, “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honouring each other.” True honour does not involve pretending that everything is fine because we are also reminded in James 4:17 (NLT), “Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.”
This, then, is biblical honour: “Treat everyone you meet with dignity. Love your spiritual family. Revere God. Respect the government.” (1 Peter 2:17 MSG). Honour is not a passive word and it is not an excuse to hide wrongdoings. As believers, we are to honour both people who have suffered mistreatment, as well as those in positions of influence whose conduct and thinking we do not support.
HONOUR CARRIES IMPACT
Honour leaves room for God to create His outcomes. God honoured Ruth by bringing her to the attention of Boaz who was a patriarch in the genealogy from Abraham to Jesus. Through her marriage to Boaz, Ruth became the great grandmother of David. (Boaz also happened to be a property mogul! Read the book of Ruth). Similarly, through Joseph’s act of honouring his family, God granted him great favour with Pharoah to distribute food supplies to the Israelites. And as for David, through overcoming the temptations to retaliate, God put an end to King Saul’s relentless attacks on him.
Proverbs 22:4 is noteworthy, “Humility is the fear of the Lord; its wages are riches and honour and life.”
In summary, our obedience - not our opinion - is what God desires. And He will reward us with quality and quantity of life for our obedience in honouring others. What does honour look like in your life?
This is a summary and reflection based on a virtual BIR Session held on 11 May 2024
