Mary in a Martha world
There's nothing more revealing about a person than when we see how they act in their own homes. One day, Jesus decided to drop in, on short notice, at the home of His good friends Martha and Mary. Wasting no time, Martha got busy doing what any respectable host would do - cooking up a storm and most likely, preparing a place for Jesus and his travel companions to put up. It would be nothing less than a ‘home away from home’.
However, Jesus soon noticed that His host was so busy that it was hard to tell if she was happy to see Him because she was always somewhere else. Close by, He watched and waited as Martha went about her busyness, and couldn’t help wondering if His sudden appearance had caused her to be inundated with preparations that kept her out of sight and unavailable to Him.
On the other hand, her sister Mary had instinctively removed herself from everything else to find a spot to sit by Jesus’ feet. When someone is at your feet, it suggests an easiness that close friends enjoy. Mary was eager not to miss anything that Jesus was saying. They were also likely engrossed in catching up, as friends do when they have not seen each other for a period of time.
Meantime, Martha knew she was missing out on something. When she heard that Jesus was coming, she had planned to impress. Always running a tight ship, she couldn’t understand why Mary would abandon everything at the drop of a hat for the pleasure of sitting with their guests.
Defiantly, she marched up to Jesus and issued this snarky complaint: “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” Jesus was clearly not impressed with her sense of self-importance that was on full display. She even tried to control her sister’s availability to Jesus – an important friend to both of them no less.
In response, Jesus answered: “Martha, Martha…you are worried and upset about many things, but… Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41-42).
In their brief exchange, Jesus wanted Martha to see that all her fussiness had alienated her from others and created bitterness and resentment in her spirit. His tone was conciliatory and similar to saying, ‘It’s okay, Martha, I appreciate all that you are doing but “Mary has chosen what is better”. Jesus also wanted to free her from hiding behind service so that she could join Mary and Himself, and start to make meaningful connections with Him and others.
Through Martha, Jesus is also showing us the importance of creating pockets of time in the midst of our busy lives to slow down, to step away from duties and demands, to tap into the God-given supply of love, laughter and life that comes through our time with Him, as well as with people He puts in our lives.
In many ways, Mary and Martha represent conflicting tendencies in us: on the one hand, we crave intimacy with God and others, while on the other hand, our pragmatic tendencies and achievement-oriented mindset pull us away from nurturing key relationships, even with God. Important as they are, we put them on a back-burner until there is an emergency, crisis or loss.
Granted that we live in a world that values Martha’s efficiency and productivity more than Mary’s focus on relationships. Our Martha instincts have no qualms about letting people wait – even God. We are also more likely to prioritise working hard to achieve the material success and financial security for our retirement and are less attentive about the type of friends - if there are any - who will be around us in our later years.
Know that when Jesus remarked that Mary had chosen what was better, He did not intend to dismiss the good that Martha did but to point out that she was too distracted by her attention to details to pay attention to her visitors. It was her relational wiring that needed improvement.
Whatever we call it – academic or career track, future-planning, familial obligations - everyone has a lot going on. We can easily get distracted going round in circles and hiding behind serving others and a sense of self-importance. Gradually, we begin to cut back on time and attention to nurture relationships, especially with Jesus. Before long, tell-tale signs will emerge as we begin to sound more and more like Martha – rattling on about what we must do, the standards we must achieve - and our lives become increasingly lopsided and self-serving.
The Bible has very clear warnings in Revelations 2:2-4 about lopsided lives. “Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first.” (v4).
Here are 3 simple down-to-earth things we can do to take deliberate pauses each day to stay connected with Jesus:
#1 Greet Jesus First Thing In The Morning
As many of us are working from home, without the ritual of getting dressed and going into our workplace, it’s tempting to skip steps and jump from wakefulness to work right away. It’s equally tempting to instantly reach out for our 5G devices and get connected to the world outside while still in bed.
Let’s be clear about one thing: we need only 1 ‘G’ – God. Start the day by saying something to God. Thank Him for watching over you in the night, and ask Him to bless the day ahead with His presence in a very real way.
#2 Stay Connected With Jesus During The Day
When someone quietly steps into a room, we can fail to notice it. Jesus does the same in our lives throughout the day. Sometimes, He brings us a Word, or points us to a person He has in mind, or sends us an idea about a project we’re involved in. Other times, He steps into a meeting we are in, or into a conversation we are having with someone. But we can be so engrossed in what we are doing that He ends up being ignored, and we lose the value that He wants to bring into that particular situation.
Note that Jesus was not calling Martha out for doing things but for being distracted and not staying connected and available when He was around. She could see and hear Him yet she was mentally distracted and emotionally detached. Imagine Jesus dropping in to see how you are doing and you keep Him waiting till you are done.
Take short breaks for quick check-ins with Jesus during the day. Being connected with the Lord adds tremendous merit and meaning to our character, career, conversations, confessions and choices. It also gives us the spiritual equilibrium needed to face the big and small demands of life.
#3 Thank Jesus Before Lights Out
Lastly, let’s make it a personal habit to end each day with a final ‘G’ - gratitude. Sometimes, we can be guilty of paying lip service to God instead of really loving Him with all our heart, our soul and our mind. Gratitude acknowledges the reality of God’s involvement in our lives in big and small ways.
We can thank Him for having a difficult conversation that we didn’t run away from and found His compassion for someone in that experience. We may consider it a personal breakthrough when we overcome the resistance to pick up a new skill or knowledge. Or we may be grateful that even though we were dog tired at the end of the day, we managed to whip up a meal that the family enjoyed!
As we reflect on the day with gratefulness, we will begin to see God’s vested interest in our lives and in our day-to-day existence.
Ultimately, we always have a choice; and like Mary, we can all choose to do what is better
