THE PERFECT & IMPERFECT FATHER
(7-minute read)
Around Father’s Day, the media, and even the church, commonly spread a fetishism about fathers, upholding them as superheroes. In over-glorifying all fathers, those who are irresponsible, absent or who behave badly are forgotten and replaced by images of the perfect father who should be rewarded with gifts and special promotions. Fathers are portrayed not as fallible humans who continually learn on the job, but presented through the binary of a perfect and imperfect father.
Individually, we all have different experiences of fatherhood in our lives. Truth is, fathers are humans with their failings and weaknesses, and there are no perfect fathers on earth, even in the Bible. Abraham who is popularly known as ‘Father Abraham’ in children’s Sunday school songs was a weak leader in his home. He went along with his wife’s humanistic plan to impregnate her servant, Hagar, as a way to fulfill God’s divine promise of a son because she herself was past child-bearing age. Even King David turned out to be a weak moral leader to his sons because he did not deal with their bad behavior that included incest, rape and murder!
It's important not to place fathers (even those who are Christians) on any family pedestals. Our Heavenly Father is only one perfect Father. Those who know Him will recognize His Unseen Hand (The Unseen Hand) in their lives and will know Him as the Unseen God who sees them (Who Is God?).
The Fatherhood of God holds three timeless truths for us to hold fast to:
HE LOVES YOU BEYOND MEASURE
We have to stop idolizing God as the rescuer or the superhero who swoops down to get us out of all hardships, troubles and failures, yet we can trust that He always acts in our best interests. He is not a Father who criticizes and shames us, or give us ultimatums to change. Instead, He will point us to the Cross where He sent His Son to die on and remind us that it was not the nails that kept Jesus crucified but the Father’s everlasting love for even hardcore sinners and closet rebels. If you have experienced this truth bear out in your life, you will see God’s love differently.
Psalm 103:8-13 presents the Father’s love this way, “The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever. He does not punish us for all our sins; He does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. For His unfailing love toward those who fear Him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. The Lord is like a father to His children, tender and compassionate to those who fear Him.”
Forget also about the harsh Father who is rigid and punitive, and think of a loving Father who is redemptive and personal, and who does not shut the door on us even when we lack faith in Him (2 Timothy 2:13). As parents, we can fail to do what is necessary for our children’s good because we are more concerned about our self-preservation and how we are seen by others than we care about being effective parents. But God’s love is radically different.
The Father’s love is always balanced with truth and grace. Hebrews 12:6 tells us that God “disciplines the one He loves, and He chastens everyone He accepts as His son.” God disciplines us only to restore us because He does not want to lose us. “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:11).
Let’s never forget that God’s love is accessible and empowering for those who learn to embrace His Fatherhood. “May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” (Ephesians 3:19 NLT)
HE CALLS YOU HIS CHILDREN
Being children of God is an identity that God gives us. All believers can say with confidence that they are children of God. This is our most important identity.
John 1:12-13 emphasizes that “to all who believed Him and accepted Him, He gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn - not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.” “And because we are His children, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “Abba, Father.” Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child.” (Galatians 4:6-7 NLT).
As a Father, God does not keep a running score of our faults and failings, yet He is not blind to our missteps and misjudgments. He hurts when we hurt ourselves, when we hurt others and when we act as though He does not exist in our lives. As our Heavenly Father, He knows we will always fall short of His standard so He sent His Son Jesus to free us from falling into sinful patterns of behaviour by what we do (sin of commission) and by what we fail to do even when it is within our ability to do so (sin of omission).
The Fatherhood of God allows us to grow in intimacy with Him and find safety under His authority. On the side of truth, He calls out our sins as sins without sugar-coating it. On the side of grace, He makes sure sin is not the hill we should die on.
God’s authority comes from who He is, and this is revealed in the Bible:
“In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth."(Genesis 1:1).
“I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End."(Revelation 22:13).
“God reigns over the nations; God is seated on his holy throne.”(Psalm 47:8)
“The Lord has established His throne in heaven, and His kingdom rules over all.”(Psalm 103:19).
The next time you talk to God, you can be more certain of the One you call “Abba, Father”!
It is worthwhile to commit to memory what the apostle Paul taught us about the enduring love of the Father, “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow - not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below - indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”(Romans 8:38-39)
HE PROVIDES WHAT YOU NEED
As we all know, life does not come with linear paths and straightforward answers. What seems expedient may not be enduring, and what is enduring may feel extremely uneasy at first. We are called to walk by faith and not by sight or by what seems to make sense. And we can be assured that God “will supply all your needs from His glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.”(Philippians 4:19).
God is also not a bank teller or a resource vending machine yet He “who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us” knows intimately what our deepest needs are(Ephesians 3:20). Always acting in our best interest, our Heavenly Father cares about what we need for a fulfilling life and relationships.
He sees deficiencies in our understanding of His Word, deviations in how we live out the Truth, and the difficulty we have in reconciling His love with prolonged suffering. He provides us with the physical safety and protection we need in risky conditions, the practical resources we need when we’re in a pinch, the respite we need for mental health, the emotional fortitude to persevere, and the courage to act in faith.
We often hear people say that they will go somewhere to reflect on life and recover from stressful living. But it is really about who they go to for comfort and recovery in that place. As believers, we now have a Heavenly Father who loves us and who provides for our every need. Are we still running to recreation for comfort, sinful relations for love, and the status quo for security?
What we need may just be a dose of reality and truth from God to set us free from acting out of unmet needs and unaddressed problems.
This is a summary and reflection based on a virtual BIR Session held on 15 June 2024.
